Painting Verbal Pictures

CB & Rihanna: Tried to resist but I must respond...

I’ve only seen clips and read about Rihanna’s interview, which seems like she’s said some really powerful things. I’m glad she told her side because there are a ton of women who never get that chance.

Now on to the internet response to it. I find it very disturbing that people rush to Chris Brown’s defense by still saying, “She must have done something to deserve it.” Really?!?! You think men only abuse women when they deserve it? Here’s my advice go to the local women’s shelter, go to a female correctional center, hell, ask your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sisters and friends if they have ever been abused by a man and what they did to deserve it. Ask them what event led to them being beaten or even verbally abused, which can be equally as damaging. I want people to look into the broken woman’s eyes and tell her that she deserves that busted lip and black eye. And then of course people say, well she probably hit him first…which, if that’s true, why don’t people say, “What did Chris Brown do to deserve to get hit?”

I feel like we live in a culture where when there are violent crimes done towards women, we blame the woman. Here in Cali, in Richmond, which is in the Bay Area, recently a 15 year old girl was gang raped on a park bench after a school dance by 6 guys, while 20 people watched. Some people left and came back, some people took pictures and video. This went on for about 2 1/2 hours. During the rape they beat and robbed her. Yes, she had been drinking with some of the guys. Yes, we could say “she should have known better…” etc. but at what point does a woman give up the right to her body? At what point is it okay for someone to assault her. Isn’t it sick to tell a rape victim or someone who has been assaulted that that’s what they get for dressing that way, acting that way, talking that way. The way I see it is, a woman should be able to walk down the street naked and no one should touch her. Why? Because it’s her fucking body.

I will only touch on the role race plays in this briefly and this critique is out of love, but most of the people on twitter who were defending Chris Brown were black women. I feel its beyond the fact that they have his posters on their walls and love his songs. I think it has a lot to do with how we, black women, are taught to defend our men no matter what because society continuously turns its back on black men. I’m not invalidating that, but it shouldn’t be used as a fucking excuse for him to do, say and treat a woman however he wants. It seems that in the news or media whenever there is a conflict a black man and a black woman, we are supposed to take the black man’s side. I’m not making this up. Look at Mike Tyson and Robin Givens…he beat the shit out of her and people did nothing but call her a golddigger. Clarence Thomas (who seems to hate black people himself) sexually harassed Anita Hill and black people rushed to his defense, saying that Anita Hill was just working for the white man to get the only black Supreme Court Justice out of office-it was dubbed a high tech lynching. When Alice Walker wrote The Color Purple, she was critiqued heavily by black men and women for her portrayal of black men in the book. It’s like if you say something against black men, then you are assumed to be a traitor to your race. This mentality is blocking the road to healing in the African American community. My process in drama therapy has been that you have to go to some really dark places in your life and within yourself and have faith that you will come out a better person. In order for the black community to heal, we have to be able to admit that we are victims and perpetrators.

I do feel for the men who beat women, and I don’t think they are monsters. They are humans who are hurting and I think it’s important that they seek help. Also I don’t mean to leave out women who abuse men or abuse within same sex couples, but my point of reference was Chris Brown and Rihanna, which is why I focused on violence against women.

Ok stepping down from my soapbox.

So I pretty much have spent this week smh because of mass killings, the denial of gay rights (Obama worked to get the LGBTQ vote and made promises he’s not keeping. I love and voted for him, but something has to be done when people are voting on and denying other people the civil rights that they themselves enjoy. It’s time he stands up for our LGBTQ community in the way the community stood up for him.), CB & RiRi, everyone in my cohort seems to have had a fucked up week (including me, being, sick, missing class and fainting) and my resistance is trying to creep back up but at least I’m aware of it now when it happens.

FUUUUCCCCKKK

i really want to be responisble and do homework and catch up on journals but its fuckin halloween and there is a flashdance party going down at the embarcadero in an attempt to take back Halloween because halloween in the castro has been cancelled. They are doing a massive thriller dance at midnight…seriously HOW CAN I MISS THAT?!?!?!